How being present can help us get better

Last week, my 6 year old son went back to his swim lessons after his holiday break. He was very excited about getting back in the pool as were his class mates. You could tell the kids were happy to see each other as they put on their “floaties”. What I didn’t know then was that I was going to observe a terrific lesson on being present.

Let’s start with a bit of context

When we develop a habit, or more precisely, an intuition or a way of doing something like swimming, it is extremely hard to change that “natural” way of doing it. This inertia persists even when we’re aware that there is a better way. Take a few moments to reflect on a conscious habit that you have changed in the past or want to change and your experience through that change.

Typically, as we’re working on this transformation, our thoughts sometimes shift to the past – “What was wrong with the old way? How did I get here? How does what I’m doing now compare with then”. Sometimes they shift to the future – “When will I be perfect? What will it look like in the future? How much of a gap is there to overcome?”. These thoughts, distractions, lead us down a rabbit hole of further analysis.

Recall what it felt like when you realized you had slipped into those thoughts and that realization immediately shot you back into the present – the realization of time that was lost in ineffective thought, having no idea how, or even if, you were progressing, the instant feeling of lost time followed by a surge of focus, of hyperawareness followed by pickup in your speed or a more perfect stroke. Suddenly, you’re present and involved and making progress!

Imagine if you could stay in that focused state and not slip into the thinking/distracted state. You could be more effective in building that new skill or changing that habit simply because of more time spent without distraction – just doing, not thinking. When we’re present, we are aware of various thoughts but we’re no longer driven to act on them immediately instead we let them pass as our mind is totally aware of the activity and the intention we’re engaged in. Thus we build mastery through focused practiced and achieve joy through continuously experiencing progress.

Getting back to the story

The kids didn’t know that they were going to learn a new swim technique that day. One that was completely new and different. Up until then, they had always paddled their hands and feet and for many this was second nature whenever they swam across from one side to the other. This time, the teacher wanted them to switch to a technique of alternating an arm movement with a leg movement. This is definitely hard and you could see the kids mentally struggle with the concept as she described it. An awkward, clumsy movement like someone learning to juggle for the first time.

Not only did this teacher break down the individual movements for practice with a swim aid, but she, inadvertently, gave a master class in being present and aware. She would randomly ask kids to practice the movement and then help a few while another junior teacher helped the others. The impact was immediate and large as the kids were randomly split in 3 at different times.

1. Baseline group – pretty much left to their own devices to learn. They largely reverted back to the old movement and awkwardly made progress when she checked them at the end (for the most part – one kid was a natural)

2. Full attention group – whenever the teacher had her full attention on a kid, they would focus on the movement and keep learning and getting better at it. In other words, she was preventing their mind from getting into distraction mode and keeping it in “be present” mode. At the end, this group had nearly mastered a conceptually difficult stroke without a swim aide.

3. Partial attention: The junior teacher had a more hands off approach where they got only occasional guidance and a few more laps. This group, despite theoretically having more practices, was a mixed bag and progressed somewhat but not even nearly as much as group 2, rather closer to group 1. My son was in this group.

The learning

So I got to witness a really important and observable lesson on the value of being present and coincidently it was referenced on one of my recent guided runs too. The coach pointed out how being present and aware of our intention, our movement and our environment during a run, puts us in a flow state by reducing the inner chatter, allowing us to bring our whole mind and body to the run and ultimately developing mastery when being present every time is combined with consistent practice.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. What was helpful for you?

Take care and be safe!

Celebrate more to create lasting change

This time of year is really special for me – we’re thankful for things that went well, reflective on our experiences and remembering those that we miss. It got me thinking about our intentions – shouldn’t we also be celebrating the intentions that we worked on and the ones that we learned from? After all, come January, we might me setting some new ones but what’s so special about January? And, why stop there? Let’s celebrate more often than once a year. After all, we’ve been working and learning from our intentions during the whole year. So, let’s talk about celebrating more and observe how the joy propels us forward and further through our intentions and our goals. But first, a song that evokes CELEBRATION!

Why do we need to celebrate?

Working on our intentions or any change, for that matter, is hard, especially in the beginning. It may require a significant change to how we think, act and spend our time. Now, that’s a lot to have accomplished all because we purposefully intended to be better. Therefore, we need to celebrate your endeavor. We need to celebrate because it was your willpower (with some neurophysiological involvement) that converted thought to intention, intention into action, action into motivation, motivation into practice and practice into achievement.

You worked on making a better YOU so you need to celebrate.

Joy also creates positive reinforcement for your action and that joy can help you sustain progress toward your intention. Thus creating lasting change.

Celebrate more often

So, why celebrate just once at the end? Why not, celebrate more than once? After all, if joy propels us forward and incentivizes us to keep at it, then more joy and joy more often would equal greater motivation. That, indeed, has been a lesson for me and a key reason why I encourage teams to celebrate more often.

Being more joyful is not bad for you so celebrate more

But some might ask, why are you celebrating if you haven’t achieved your goal? And that is a really good point – celebrating for the sake of celebrating is not meaningful for our intention. In fact, it might lead us to short circuit the work and go straight to celebration. Thus, in that terrific and seemingly, heartless question, lies a nice lesson on finding more reasons to celebrate.

Finding more reasons to celebrate requires us to be aware of our progress and mindful about how to measure it

So, break down your intention into daily, weekly and monthly goals and decide how you will measure progress. And Voila! You now have the means to celebrate more often.

Some ideas on what to celebrate

Do you need ideas? You’ve come to the right place.

  • Celebrate the fact that you started and ended and even that you stuck around at the mid-point mark.
  • Celebrate what you learned whether you were proved right or wrong.
  • Celebrate your teams working together in alignment.
  • Celebrate the losses too – when you win, you learn what to do; but when you lose, you also learn what not to do.

What do you think about celebrating and what are your ideas on reasons to celebrate more often?

Let me know in the comments what was most helpful for you. Stay safe and joyful this holiday!

What does our irrationality teach us

As I read Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, I found his ideas not only enlightening to understand my own predictable irrationality but also to think through ideas on motivation and change management for our teams.

1️⃣ Context matters – we find it hard to understand things in absolute terms so explain value in relative terms with context and understand where your team is coming from. Small change for you may not be small for them.
2️⃣ People will work more for a cause than for cash – This doesn’t mean compensation is not important. Frame your cause carefully.
3️⃣ Free influences choice – Loss aversion is real so when something is free, there is no visible loss from choosing it. Consequently, when something is free, we will irrationally select it over a better choice – find what’s free and explain the choice.
4️⃣ Moods influence our decisions – Set the stage for your team to be in a cool but motivated state when introducing a change.
5️⃣ Ownership drives commitment – when we own something, we value it more thus our loss aversion takes over because of the prospect of losing something we own. Motivate ownership.
6️⃣ Short term pains overcome long term gains – we can lose motivation quickly if the immediate outcomes are negative so celebrate the early learnings (even failures) and shine a spotlight on the small wins. Start easy, go long.

Predictably Irrational